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My name is Ashlin Duncan.

I make websites.

Blog

New feature!

You can now change the site’s theme from the menu. Currently, I have the normal theme, and a “Noire” theme I put together (based on the 50s film style). Try it now! (more…)

Blogs are Cool!

I seem to be faced with a conundrum. A conundrum about space. Not space as in outer-space – unlike the space that surrounds our planet, this space is white. This conundrum is about whitespace. And the lack thereof.

“Blogs are cool!” I told myself. “It doesn’t matter that you have nothing to blog about – It’ll come!”

It didn’t. Now, I have this conundrum. I have to make at least one post for the page to display correctly, but I have nothing to blog about. And I likely will never have anything to blog about.

I suppose I could remove the blog, but that means all that hard work goes down the drain. I simply have to write enough content to fill up the space. It sounds simple – but it’s not. When I have no information to actually transmit, this task can, in fact, be incredibly difficult.

There are various techniques people can use to expand their words. For example, including useless filler words such as “however” and “for example” can give you some extra space to work with. Another important technique is including unnecessary adjectives such as “important” – this useful practice, combined with the right emphasized terms, can truly give your text a vacuous feel.

However, other techniques also exist. Repeating entire passages over and over again, with slightly changed wording, can give the illusion of a solid body of text. It is incredibly important to remember, however, to be sure to manipulate the overall wording. Effectively completing this task will result in a paragraph that feels incredibly dense – but, in fact, does not include any information whatsoever.

Long, run-on sentences can also help — they fill up space but they discourage readers from actually reading (which, of course, is the ultimate goal of this endeavor). Ideally, your readers will skim past it due to the difficulty in understanding the system of text, without noticing the lack of information, and also receiving the benefits of a substantial amount of content.

For example, that last paragraph was only two sentences.

In an ideal world, no normal person will have made it this far. However, the world we live in is not, unfortunately, ideal. In a truly ideal world, I would have something to blog about. But I don’t, and this is still not an ideal world.

Finally, I will conclude with a statement connecting back to the beginning, to encourage those skipping to the bottom to believe that this post actually contains information. Space – even whitespace – is incredibly important, and it is necessary that we continue space exploration for when humans inevitably need to expand.